it gives me thrill to wind you up
Miezamarsha
Diploma in Mass Communication
I love Myself. I dont smoke , drink & club.
18 years of living . 11th July. pampered. Sturborn & Sensitive .
Always Love Italian Food:)Mixed blood. Easily got irritated. Easy going.
Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Strong sense of sympathy.
Im'a shopaholic. Dislike crowded places.
i am so not bitter
about you eg. I am cool. I sing great songs. I am kate nash.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
[ 10:03 PM ]
Currently regret .
if i could just be straight forward with him back then . when he ask " asl u confuse??" how i wish , i just could speak up! & how much i wish ,i could repeat back the first day i get to knw him .. i dont know whats happening ,bt i do regret asking for seperation . im way to ego on that night, am i ? if only i knw it could lead to this situation .
im missing him badly.. how many times i have prayed to let me forget him , like how i use to forget FARIS & the rest of my past ! bt i just cant . it isnt the same . i never love someone with my heart and soul .. and thats the reason why i cant get over him till today . i use to hurt guys so much in the past . i use to get close to them and just wont be bothered to tie a knot and request it to remain as friends . how many guys i've rejected . put aside . neglected them . & let them in pain . cruel aint i ? till i met him and i learnt things slowly .apreciate my surrounding .how much he changed me to a better person and teach me unt0k bersabar. & he dont even knw bout it cus i never let him knew it.
now, so much pretend that im fine , still i dont realise how my eyes really showed till someone tegor me.Went to neighbour crib and spent a day at his house , using his comp and stuff . and without realising, i stared on th comp screen for freaking 20 min , as what told . i only knew is ,i stared on his name when he onlined and i dont knw why im hurting so much . just by seeing his name would hurt , cus im missing him badly.. soon after that , i just did normal stuff , chillin at his couch.. playing psp . joke ard , and at the end of the day, this is what i receive . a text msg send by him just after i reach home after buke at his house.
" mieza , u takecare 0kay , i may be busy to knw what happen to you , to listen to ur problem . to share ur sorrowness. bt ape aku nmpk tdi , u still stuck . aku taw kau maseh sayang kan shaikh kan . and aku tau kau nk move on bt u just cnt . aku paham ape kau rase . kau nak tau mcm mane aku tau , aku tngok kau stare kt screen comp lame nk mampos . kau stakat tngok name ex kau . bace balek ur old convo . browse thru ur old post ! ape ni ?! u;re hiding things mieza . aku kenal kau dah 4 tahun okay! cmmon la u have ur friends . im here okay . just let go whatever is in ur mind . even if crying is what u have to do .. i can see how much you miss him , kalau tng0k kau je , aku tau kau sedeh . i knw how much it hurts u. sabar kay . =) . pape carik aku kt umah kay . hahahaha .. bye"
after receiving this text ! yes. i teared . thats what u said alep . "even if crying is what i have to do " if cry can make me lessen my burden of missing him . i would cry the whole day , alep .. no one knew how much i miss him , how much i miss his voice . i had hard time concentrating on things lately .and please tell me ,all this is not because of ....=x .
if i could just be straight forward with him back then . when he ask " asl u confuse??" how i wish , i just could speak up! & how much i wish ,i could repeat back the first day i get to knw him .. i dont know whats happening ,bt i do regret asking for seperation . im way to ego on that night, am i ? if only i knw it could lead to this situation .
im missing him badly.. how many times i have prayed to let me forget him , like how i use to forget FARIS & the rest of my past ! bt i just cant . it isnt the same . i never love someone with my heart and soul .. and thats the reason why i cant get over him till today . i use to hurt guys so much in the past . i use to get close to them and just wont be bothered to tie a knot and request it to remain as friends . how many guys i've rejected . put aside . neglected them . & let them in pain . cruel aint i ? till i met him and i learnt things slowly .apreciate my surrounding .how much he changed me to a better person and teach me unt0k bersabar. & he dont even knw bout it cus i never let him knew it.
now, so much pretend that im fine , still i dont realise how my eyes really showed till someone tegor me.Went to neighbour crib and spent a day at his house , using his comp and stuff . and without realising, i stared on th comp screen for freaking 20 min , as what told . i only knew is ,i stared on his name when he onlined and i dont knw why im hurting so much . just by seeing his name would hurt , cus im missing him badly.. soon after that , i just did normal stuff , chillin at his couch.. playing psp . joke ard , and at the end of the day, this is what i receive . a text msg send by him just after i reach home after buke at his house.
" mieza , u takecare 0kay , i may be busy to knw what happen to you , to listen to ur problem . to share ur sorrowness. bt ape aku nmpk tdi , u still stuck . aku taw kau maseh sayang kan shaikh kan . and aku tau kau nk move on bt u just cnt . aku paham ape kau rase . kau nak tau mcm mane aku tau , aku tngok kau stare kt screen comp lame nk mampos . kau stakat tngok name ex kau . bace balek ur old convo . browse thru ur old post ! ape ni ?! u;re hiding things mieza . aku kenal kau dah 4 tahun okay! cmmon la u have ur friends . im here okay . just let go whatever is in ur mind . even if crying is what u have to do .. i can see how much you miss him , kalau tng0k kau je , aku tau kau sedeh . i knw how much it hurts u. sabar kay . =) . pape carik aku kt umah kay . hahahaha .. bye"
after receiving this text ! yes. i teared . thats what u said alep . "even if crying is what i have to do " if cry can make me lessen my burden of missing him . i would cry the whole day , alep .. no one knew how much i miss him , how much i miss his voice . i had hard time concentrating on things lately .and please tell me ,all this is not because of ....=x .
when maissy can teared reading my post .. i knw you feel me , maissy
Labels: if u read my old post ., you knw how the story went